A Athair inmain, cluinte mo núall-sa:
mithig (mo-núarán!) lasin trúagán trúag-sa.
Be thou and thou only, the first in my heart.
This is the pin-point of the disciple’s desire: For God and God alone to be the actual God and Sovereign of his heart. But in one way or another, we force some other usurping monarch onto the throne with God.
At our best and most conscious, this is not a willful act, but simply a symptom of fallen-ness. We simply don’t possess the ability to perfectly submit to God and God only. This is why grace is required.
However, at our worst, we lie to ourselves about the multiplicity of kings we are crowning each day. We say we love God by holding to solid doctrine, when in truth, seated beside God is the petty king of Arrogance. We’re actually worshiping “Being Right”.
Again, we say we love God by serving the poor when in truth, seated beside God is the petty king of Fear. We’re actually worshiping under the threat of being seen as “cruel” or “un-woke“. Worship under threat is not worship at all.
…the throne of the human heart is only wide enough for one.
Whether at it’s worst or at it’s relative “best”, our divided loyalty is actually just an illusion. Our condition is, in reality much worse, because the throne of the human heart is only wide enough for one. We create all sorts of fictional scenarios which provide for the physical impossibility of two things occupying the same space at the same time. But it never actually happens. It never can. God will never share his throne (as is the case with any rightful monarch).
“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.Matthew 6:24
Therefore, even the most committed disciple is often (usually?) found earnestly genuflecting before the throne of the God Most High , never lifting their eyes to see that the throne is empty – or occupied by a clown.