Answer:
Proverbs 31 is a description of the noble wife – and ironically, though the passage talks about an amazing woman, the first application was for men! The advice is simple: find a virtuous and capable wife. (31:10). The whole book has been talking about how valuable wisdom is and comparing it to gold and precious stones. Now, the author compares a great wife to this same treasure. Someone wins a lottery when he finds a great wife…
Therefore, look for one, look high and low, and don’t settle. Read 31:30. It’s saying, don’t settle for charm. Don’t settle for beauty only. These are attractive things in a potential mate, but of greater worth than all these things, is her relationship with God! Look for a noble, high character, hard working, capable wife who loves God even more than you. That’s the main lesson of the passage.
So in one sense, the part that talks about the noble wife might be a bit of idealized exaggeration. As if it were the author’s way of helping us replace our lesser, banal fantasies of ideal womanhood. He’s saying, “here’s your REAL fantasy woman.” Ironically, replacing our oversexed womanly ideals with this high character woman, does sometimes intimidate even the most ambitious modern women. Women sometimes feel this Proverbs 31 woman swings the pendulum to the opposite extreme creating another, equally impossible ideal out there to make them feel inadequate. If we understand the first message of this passage is to young men, who will tend to value externals over internals, then it avoids such feelings of inadequacy. The exaggerated scope of this woman’s activity and success is merely to drive home the point – you want a noble wife of high character! Mere “cuteness” won’t cut it, so don’t look for that alone.
Now, the middle description of what “noble and capable” looks like does contain a lesson for women who want to develop a godly character and be the “great catch” God is talking about. Probably the hard part of understanding what it means for you comes from A) it’s not really a PRESCRIPTION for how to be this noble wife. It’s a DESCRIPTION. It never lays out a specific “to do” list. And B) this description is set in a 3000 year old culture and so finding relevance with this woman’s activities is hard. We don’t live in an agrarian society and much of the noble wife’s business relates to hand-driven agriculture and home making. So we have to look for transferable principles to get a sense of the lesson in this description.
I think her noble character boils down being a great “lover” in three areas: inside her home, outside her home, and with her God.
In the first verses (12 – 19) this woman is hardworking and ambitious for her household. If nothing else, this is an implied sanction for godly women to explore their calling for the benefit of their families in whatever arena they have opportunity and gifts. Notice, there seems to be no limit to the resourcefulness she can show, no limit to the places she can go, or the leadership she can exercise to get it done. Verse 17 is the summary of this section – she is energetic, strong and a hard worker. A modern woman’s playing field is totally different, but any woman following her example should feel unleashed by God to engage in the marketplace to produce profit and benefits for her family. The unique challenge for modern women (and men) is that profit today comes mostly outside the home. Back then, for both men and women, career and parenting were inseparable. Your children usually came with you wherever you went. So while there’s the example of her marketplace skills here (16), there’s no instruction for how to engage with those and at the same time be available for her children. This is a unique problem for women today, but no less for Christian fathers who seem to be given the lion’s share of parenting responsibility by Paul (Eph 6:4).
But secondly (vs. 20-26) she loves not just her family, but also others outside the home. Note, she’s a woman of compassion. She’s engaged in the process (in fact, seems to be solely in charge) of charitable giving for her household. She has a civic mindset, not just a mindset restricted to the four walls of her home. And verse 23 confirms that her reputation is so good in her business dealings in public that she enhances her husband’s public reputation. So she’s known for being savvy and wise (26). Where does she get wisdom from? It implies she has been a lifelong student of godliness. This kind of foreshadows what Jesus and Paul did in making women fellow learners and teachers of the gospel. (Luke 8:1-4; 1 Tim 2:11)
Last, she has a rich relationship with God (31:30) and this is her greatest asset. And it’s this that must drive all her other activities and ambition.
Finally, a woman who loves so well inside and outside her home and who does it all from her reverent love for her God, will reap the rewards of her care and hard work – vs. 28,29, 31. In praise from God, her husband and her kids.
