AC3 E Groups
- AC3 E-Group Outline July 24th-25th
Posted by James on Jul 22 2010(Print)
Announcements: The Pause is coming: July 31st/Aug. 1st is the last weekend of services.
Place on your calendars:
*ALL COMMUNITY/ALL FAMILY EVENT – Jul. 31st at Birch Bay waterslides. Pick up some info. cards and hand out at your e-group.
*SUMMER JUBILEE - Aug. 21st, (this is a correction from last week) Contact Cammy Clinton for more information.
*VISION CAST – Aug. 27th-29th (registration forms are now available) (Grab some registration forms and hand out at group. Encourage everybody to go, including yourself. This is one of the best weekends for AC3).
Theme: The Biggest Spiritual Loser- How to lose love
Materials: Bibles
ICEBREAKER: (10 min.)
READ: Philippians 2: 5-11
5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Q: What did these verses say to you?
Q: What Godly principle is being demonstrated?
Create a discussion
DISCUSSION/SCRIPTURE: (90 min.)
Share with the group:
This week is about OTHERS: Love needs.
What we want from others is LOVE. But to gain this, LOVE is the exact thing we have to be prepared to lose by giving it away!
Q: How?
A: Through servanthood. We have to be prepared to treat others as better than ourselves;
-They mattered more.
-It’s NOT all about me, but about God.
-My LIFE comes from God, so through His power I can serve others in love, and look after their needs as well as my own.
Two concepts to consider:
1) Humiliation: (Verses 6-8) broken down into two additional parts we will examine today) done by Jesus to himself.
2) Exhaltation: (Verses 9-11) done by FATHER to Jesus
Create a discussion:
(v 2 and 5) IF you’re a Christian…do THINGS like Christ. Today, Pursuing Love, may not be obvious, but it is illustrated in v 7.
Q: So how do we adopt Christ’s mind when it comes to finding love?
A: First word of v7 is the hinge: “BUT” contrasts what is about to come with what was “just said”. What was “just said” is a description of belonging, intimacy: Love. There’s an assumed affection in those phrases…did not consider it something to be grasped…meaning “anyone else would want this so bad that they would grasp “it”… grasp WHAT exactly? Love, togetherness belonging. Christ demonstrated what equality with God (intimacy/belonging/love looked like: Servanthood. Do you want to enter the “mind of Christ”? It starts v6
• Christ made the decision to act (become a servant) in His pre-existent state. Not a snap decision when he woke up in a human body…not a choice he made as matured.
READ: Colossians 1:15 John 17:5
Share with the group:
How do we “lose” our way to love?:
1) Something to be grasped?
- Noun “ a thing to be held at all cost”
- Noun “a position which could be exploited”
- Verb “a robber grasping loot”
2) Debate over “made Himself nothing” (NIV) “emptied Himself” (NASB) “made Himself of no reputation” (KJV) “gave up His divine privileges” (NLT)
Christ did not empty Himself of anything; he simply "emptied Himself," poured Himself out, as it were.
Q: Poured Himself into what?
A: Into the form of a servant!
Divine nature maintains it’s integrity within one container, but moves into a another.
The question isn’t, “of what did He empty himself?” but the real question is, INTO what did he empty himself?”
The verb “taking” is a clue: it means adding something not exchanging.
“Glory” (John 17:5) on the eve of his death he is about to receive a GLORY He used to have, is apparently now without (had put aside) but will now regain.
3) Taking the VERY nature of a servant (bond servant or slave)
Not JUST simple submission to the Father, but serving His own creation! READ: Matthew 20:28
4) Made in human “likeness”
APPLICATION: (10 min.)
PRINCIPLES:
1. Love is not to be GRASPED. The be-all and end-all of your existence is not an intimacy that you create. It’s obedience that establishes an environment where GOD builds a BETTER intimavy (remember Exhaltation 9-11 GOD does the work)
Jeanne Athey’s Pearl Story
2. Maintain identity in order to serve, NOT change identity in order to belong.
3. Service is Pre-meditated
4. It’s all about motive (retreat talk) Family context: not just doing what mom says, actually serving sibling. KK Faith filled service. Truth is most of the time we don’t apply the formula at all, and in the rare instance we do, we’re applying it to others: why have they (God and loved ones) not exercised THEIR half of the equation: exhalting me. “They never call, I do all the work, no one else volunteers, no one said thank you” = GRASPING.
READ THIS SHORT DESCRIPTION
From Paul's perspective this is how divine love manifests itself in its most characteristic and profuse expression. Christ entered our history not as kyrios ("Lord"), a name he acquires at his vindication (vv. 9-11), but as doulos ("slave"; see on 1:1), a person without advantages, rights or privileges, but in servanthood to all. All of this, surely, with an eye to verses 3-4. It is further important to note that crucifixion was reserved by the Romans either for insurrectionists or for recalcitrant slaves.
Manute Bol
Here’s the reality we’re living in friends: Our culture continues to decay with ever more focus on material gain, self-satisfaction a “do as you please” approach to morality AND an un-willingness to extend compassion. It’s the protest abortions but look down on the un-wed mother syndrome.
The world economy teeters on the edge of collapse, our country is up to it’s hips in two wars and at least two potential wars, we’re in the midst of the worst environmental disaster in US history, our health care system is a like swollen blister ready to pop, and about as useful, our public education systems are turning out larger numbers of unqualified apathetic citizens, and we…we can’t find the room in our lives to offer up even 4 hours, 10% of a normal work week, to serve in the ONE place that provides hope against all that: the Church.
1) This is the path to love
2) You were made for this
“God has a place for you to fill, but it will take all of you to fill it.”
Hugh Redwood
PRAYER: (10 min.)
Get into a circle and Pray to the person o your left. Be mindful of your group members. Do this only if all the members feel comfortable enough to pray out loud.
- AC3 E-Group Outline July 17th-18th
Posted by James on Jul 15 2010(Print)
Announcements: The Pause is coming: July 31st/Aug. 1st is the last weekend of services.
Place on your calendars:
*ALL COMMUNITY/ALL FAMILY EVENT – Jul. 31st at Birch Bay waterslides. Pick up some info. cards and hand out at your e-group.
*SUMMER JUBILEE - Aug. 21st, (this is a correction from last week) Contact Cammy Clinton for more information.
*VISION CAST – Aug. 27th-29th (registration forms are now available) (Grab some registration forms and hand out at group. Encourage everybody to go, including yourself. This is one of the best weekends for AC3).
Theme: The Biggest Spiritual Loser-
Materials: Bibles
ICEBREAKER: (10 min.)
Q: Where in your life are you applying the upside down life Jesus talks about?
Share both successes and difficulties.
Q: Where in your life is God talking to you about this principle?
DISCUSSION/SCRIPTURE: (90 min.)
READ: Matt 10:22-39
JESUS IS OUR INSPIRATION FOR THE DOWNWARD PATH
24 "A student is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. 25
It is enough for the student to be like his teacher, and the servant like
his master. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebub, how much
more the members of his household!
DISCUSS:
-Christians ought to EXPECT hard times and persecution. God in our
lives does not mean it always goes well.
GET REAL NOW, OR BE FORCED TO GET REAL THEN
26 "So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be
disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. 27 What I tell you in the
dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from
the roofs.
DISCUSS:
-No secret will not be revealed in the end. We can hide behind our
lies or image keeping, but everything is coming out.
-Will we be one of those that hides now and is exposed then, or one
that is exposed now, and "hidden" in Christ on Judgment Day?
DON'T BE AFRAID - YOU MATTER TO GOD
28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul.
Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the
ground apart from the will of your Father. 30 And even the very hairs of
your head are all numbered. 31 So don't be afraid; you are worth more than
many sparrows.
DISCUSS:
-Don't be afraid. Those that have temporal power now, do not have
ultimate power - power over eternal destiny.
-Submit to the one who has the greater power - it's only logical!
-This is not about being "AFRAID" of God because he can condemn us
to hell. NO! This is about running to God for rescue from judgment -
BECAUSE HE CARES ABOUT US.
32 "Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before
my Father in heaven. 33 But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him
before my Father in heaven. 34 "Do not suppose that I have come to bring
peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I
have come to turn "'a man against his father, a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law- 36 a man's enemies will be the
members of his own household.' 37 "Anyone who loves his father or mother
more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more
than me is not worthy of me; 38 and anyone who does not take his cross and
follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and
whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
DISCUSS:
-Hang on to Jesus now, and He will hang on to you.
-The Disciple is to live life in light of eternity, not in
light of temporal conditions.
-Having Jesus as master BRINGS TROUBLE in this life! That trouble
may be in our own households.
-To disown Jesus now may prolong life - but it leads to death THEN;
to own Jesus now may diminish life now, but it will prolong life THEN
APPLICATION: (10 min.)
In the following areas that were discussed;
-JESUS IS OUR INSPIRATION FOR THE DOWNWARD PATH
-GET REAL NOW, OR BE FORCED TO GET REAL THEN
-DON'T BE AFRAID - YOU MATTER TO GOD
What can you share with the group that has been fruitful?
What can you share with the group that has been difficult?
PRAYER: (10 min.)
Pray for each other’s areas of struggle.
Pray for each other’s victories and that they will continue.
Pray for more of an upside down life.
- AC3 E-Group Outline July 10th-11th
Posted by James on Jul 08 2010(Print)
Announcements: The Pause is coming: July 31st/Aug. 1st is the last weekend of services.
Place on your calendars:
*ALL COMMUNITY/ALL FAMILY EVENT – Jul. 31st at Birch Bay waterslides. Pick up some info. cards and hand out at your e-group.
*SUMMER JUBILEE - Aug. 14th, Contact Cammy Clinton for more information.
*VISION CAST – Aug. 27th-29th (registration forms will be available soon).
Theme: Pulpit Swap
Materials: Bibles
ICEBREAKER: (10 min.)
Q: What does unity mean to you and/or what does it look like?
Q: How are you a part of the body? Give examples.
DISCUSSION/SCRIPTURE: (90 min.)
This week we are experiencing the ‘Pulpit Swap’. Our guest speaker is Pastor Doug Sharp from Seventh Day Adventist. The purpose of the pulpit swap is to promote unity and the upcoming Summer Jubilee. Since the main topic is about unity, that is the topic of this week’s outline.
Read and discuss the following verses.
2 Chronicles 30:12
Also in Judah the hand of God was on the people to give them unity of mind to carry out what the king and his officials had ordered, following the word of the LORD.
2 Chronicles 30:11-13 (in Context)
2 Chronicles 30 (Whole Chapter)
Psalm 133:1
[ A song of ascents. Of David. ] How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!
Psalm 133:1-3 (in Context)
Psalm 133 (Whole Chapter)
John 17:23
I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
John 17:22-24 (in Context)
John 17 (Whole Chapter)
Romans 15:5
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus,
Romans 15:4-6 (in Context)
Romans 15 (Whole Chapter)
Ephesians 4:1
[ Unity in the Body of Christ ] As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.
Ephesians 4:1-3 (in Context)
Ephesians 4 (Whole Chapter)
Ephesians 4:3
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:2-4 (in Context)
Ephesians 4 (Whole Chapter)
Ephesians 4:13
until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
Ephesians 4:12-14 (in Context)
Ephesians 4 (Whole Chapter)
Colossians 3:14
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Colossians 3:13-15 (in Context)
Colossians 3 (Whole Chapter)
APPLICATION: (10 min.)
Q: What areas do you need to address that have been counter productive of building the body? Choices, behaviors, actions that are or have been anti-unity.
Q: What are you willing to start doing or do more of to be a part of the body? To be in unity within AC3 and the surrounding churches?
PRAYER: (10 min.)
As a group, pray for AC3 and the churches of Marysville. Pray for God’s leading that this body will serve the community well and demonstrate God’s Love, beauty and Grace.
-AC3 E-Group Outline July 3rd-4th
Posted by James on Jul 01 2010(Print)
Announcements: All community/ all family event July 31st at Birch Bay waterslides. Pick up some info. cards and hand out at your e-group.
Theme: Biggest Spiritual Loser: Power of paradox
Materials: Bibles, prayer pot (can, jar, large cup, etc.), pieces of paper, pens/pencils
ICEBREAKER: (15 min.)
Q: What does success mean to you?
Q: When do you feel content?
Q: What is Jesus’ idea of success?
DISCUSSION/SCRIPTURE: (85 min.)
Share with the group:
In the vocabulary of the world, DOWN is a word reserved for losers, cowards and a bad stock market. It is a word to be avoided. It is a word that colors everything it touches, including some of the words it hangs around with:
- downfall,
- down scale,
- downhill,
- down and out.
Then think about it's antonym, UP. Up gets all the good press.
- Upscale,
- up and coming,
- upwardly mobile,
- Up is a word for the strong, the chosen.
So we may be surprised that in Philippians, Paul asks for an attitude adjustment about the words up and down.
READ: Phil 2:3-5:
He says the way to “up is down”. He’s trying to inspire DOWNWARD MOBILITY.
Q: Describe a time when Up was Down, or Down was Up for you.. What did that Paradox look like in your own life?
Share with the group:
So he makes clear that there are some thing’s that downward mobility is not.
- it is NOT selfish ambition
- It is also NOT vain conceit.
- It’s also NOT looking out only for your own interests. (Which doesn't mean we deny our legitimate needs. We know even Jesus took care of Himself physically and emotionally. The question is: is that all you EVER look after?)
This idea that the way to “UP” is “DOWN” grates against the American way. And I think Paul would ask us, which attitude wins? The attitude of the culture, up, up, up!? Or the attitude of our Master and Rescuer Jesus Christ? If we want to be like him, then the direction we must go, is down.
Because what follows are Jesus’ voluntary stages of descent. And on the surface it’s very Un-American. Demotion, anonymity, servanthood, down scaling, decreasing, losing and finally dying.
So what were Christ’s stages of descent with his downwardly mobile attitude?:
LETTING GO
READ: Phil 2:6
Now how’s that for the first step in a plan to change the world? Letting go of power and privilege. If we were Jesus’ advisors in heaven, we would say, you want to impact the world, you must ARISE! TAKE OVER! CONQUER!
What makes Christ's descent so unique is the height from which he started his descent. He couldn’t start any higher! It says, Jesus was “equal with God”. Just think about this: Jesus was the ultimate object of praise in the universe – beings he created worshiped him night and day. Yet, voluntarily, he was striped of his rights as he poured his divine nature into human form in a dirty stable.
He let go of his rights – for others. Next stage of his demotion was…
SERVANTHOOD
READ: Phil 2:7
At the last supper Jesus crystallized it for his followers, when he took up a towel and washed their feet. The Lord of Glory, serving the lowest, basest function of the lowest household slave. No act of servanthood was below him. This didn’t sit well with Peter, “You won’t wash my feet!” He had a glimpse of who Jesus was and it grated against his idea of leadership that the Son of God should wash feet.
Jesus just responded by saying,
I’ve set you an example, that you should do as I have done for you.
Do we? Or are there serious limits to the way we serve others? Are there privileges and perks we expect with the positions we hold, at work, at home, in our marriages? Are there some things that the humble Jesus would stoop to do that you would never do?
Next stage of descent:
HUMILITY
READ: Phil 2:8
NARCISSISM, which means a preoccupation with self.
The word comes from an old GREEK legend of Narcissus, a youth who was so enamored with his own image that the gods forced him to look at himself in a pond until he withered away and died. You see, there’s an irony, equal to the irony of the downward path: in seeking our own exaltation, our own comfort or ease, leads to the withering of our spirit and an inability to love.
Now, God doesn't have a problem with our needs being met. The truth is, HE LONGS to exalt us! What he has a problem with is the world's way of getting there! UPWARD MOBILITY is defined by promoting ourselves, advancing our cause, defending our agenda at the expense of others.
God knows that self indulgence always leads to self destruction. God knows, up, ultimately leads to down. But in God's economy, down is the way to up.
READ: James 4:10
Jesus descended, decreased, down scaled so that he could perfectly love and God lifted him up, check it out:
OBEDIENCE
READ: Phil 2:8-9
OBEDIENCE IS A WORD FOR LOSERS. Winners get to command. Winners have authority. So, quite naturally, God should get to command. But only in Christianity do we realize that when God asks us to obey his commands, he asks us for something he has already done!
READ: Heb 5:8-9
Notice, he didn’t know obedience before he suffered, because the Father and Son and Spirit lived in perfect unity and love in eternity. There was perfect oneness, no chain of command. It was only in the Incarnation when Jesus was demoted and encased in human flesh that he had to learn obedience.
And it was obedience, that put him on that cross. Remember, in Gethsemane, in great anguish, Jesus asked for a different assignment. It’s not wrong to debate with God about your assignment, but if you want to have his attitude, these conversations always end the same way:
Not my will God, but yours be done.
But if you want to be Jesus’ follower, you must follow the downward path:
- letting go
- servanthood
- humility
- obedience
One of the most stunning verses in the Bible is Hebrews 12:2 which says,
“let us fix our eyes on Jesus who, for the JOY set before him, (could there be joy in losing?) endured the cross, scorning it's shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Think about Jesus' downward path... He violated every value of our world's system. Yet, in Jesus, his own words find their fullest expression:
- he who would grasp onto his life will lose it,
- he who loses his life for my sake, will find it.
We read then that Christ became the greatest of the great. This is where descending comes full circle. This is were it stops being foolish and starts being the wisest thing we could ever do. Jesus descended INTO greatness, into God’s greatness!
And because he did, we live!
So NOW, doesn’t it stand to reason that when we let go, and serve others, and humble ourselves and obey God, we also open up the pathways of life for others. When Jesus let go, and served and humbled himself and obeyed, he opened up heaven for us.
- The short term was his suffering for us – his broken body and shed blood.
- The long term was his exaltation – the place he will one day take you and me.
APPLICATION: (10 min.)
I don’t know where obedience will lead you. Probably at times, to a Gethsemane of your own. Into loss, or through stages of demotion. Through giving up, and surrendering. Obedience may mean you can’t cover pain or escape it in a way that seems appealing in the moment.
Discuss what obedience may look like for you.
PRAYER: (10 min.)
Use a prayer pot: Place everybody’s name on a piece of paper and place it in a pot/jar/something. Pass it around and have people pull names. If they pull their own name place it back in and draw again.
Now go around the circle and have each person pray ofr the person they just drew.
AC3 E-Group Outline - Feb 20th-21st
Posted by Carin on Feb 19 2010(Print)
ICEBREAKER: HOW MUCH DO WE HAVE IN COMMON?
Coffee or Tea
Romantic Comedy or Suspense
Peanut Butter or Jelly
Early Bird or Night Owl
Lake or Ocean
Fine China or Paper plate
James Brown or James Taylor
Coke or Pepsi
Snow or Beach
Lone Ranger or Tonto
Fred Flintstone or Barney Rubble
Thelma or Louise
Batman or Robin
Lucy Ricardo or Ethel Mertz
DISCUSSION/SCRIPTURE/ACTIVITY:
Quick recap of the first two LOVES –
EROS [Romantic Passion]
STORGE [Family Affection]
Pick your kind of love! And describe what makes it that kind of love.
Storge or Eros – Young couple dating?
Storge or Eros – Elderly couple holding hands in the park? (Trick can be either)
Storge or Eros – Mother holding baby for first time?
Storge or Eros – Father giving away his daughter on her wedding day?
PHILLA distinguishes itself from the other loves in that it is the love built least on need, especially biological need. Rick pointed out without EROS (Romantic Passion) you probably wouldn’t be born in the first place. And without STORGE (Family Affection) you probably won’t be raised or provided for very well.
PHILLA (Friendship Love) is not needed to survive. But as CS Lewis states, Friendship has no real survival value, rather, it adds VALUE to SURVIVAL!
QUESTION: (If children are present don’t be afraid to ask them to answer this one – just make sure they stick around to here the follow up).
What kind of things make it hard to enter into friendship with others?
(Leader) The idea here is to pull out the “it’s hard because…”
“Too busy”
“Too big of an investment of time and energy”
“Have to get real with someone”
“Afraid of being judged”
“If they knew the real me”
“Been hurt in the past”
Q: IF REAL LIFE RELATIONSHIPS ADDED VALUE TO YOUR SURVIVAL WOULDN’T PHILA BE WORTH ALL OF THOSE REASONS WE JUST STATED WERE HARD? IF SO, WHY?
(Leader you can try to encourage group to counter their own reasons why it would be hard with why it would be worth it – especially the children)
The thing about STORGE and EROS is that they are the most natural of these 3 loves.
Philia is more spiritual and idealistic. This may explain why we have such a hard time with this.
As modern day man when we tend to make everything about either a SEXUAL NEED or a MOMMY/DADDY NEED - making a true PHILA FRIENDSHIP love seem impossible.
Q: Does anyone remember some of the down falls with having this way of thinking that Rick shared about?
-It leads to men who, because they can’t do actual friendship, come to a romantic relationship with women without a clue how to relate.
-It leads to men who are afraid to hug another man, or cry or show demonstrable emotion and so they avoid friendship altogether.
-It leads to women who won’t be your friend unless they can put themselves in the upper hand of parenthood (i.e. fix you).
Q: What would be other down falls? (Open discussion)
All of this doesn’t allow for a lot of room for a real PHILIA relationship.
Here is what the BIBLE says about finding/picking friends.
PROVERBS 13:20 He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.
Using this as a reference, think about WHO ARE YOU WALKING WITH?
The ones that you are “walking with” are the ones you are “doing life with”.
Q: If this is the first time you have heard this – take a moment to really take that in.
If you have heard this before, when was the first time that you really started to understand
the importance of looking at “who you walk with”?
(You can ask for good and/or bad examples of this IF you feel appropriate for your egroup).
The Bible says, “If you walk with fools, you will become a fool, you will become impulsive, insensitive, immoral, unthinking, rash, irresponsible. But if you walk with the wise you will become wise, thoughtful, responsible, prudent, godly and blessed. “
So we can gather from what the Bible tells us, when it comes to PHILA, picking our “walking” mates is of utmost importance.
Here is how to avoid the dark side of PHILA RELATIONSHIPS
PROVERBS 6:17-19 There are six things the LORD hates, no seven things that he detests: Self important eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.
Let’s see if we can guess the definitions of each of these. (Answer is always ALL OF THE ABOVE).
1. SELF IMPORTANT EYES Is it…
a. Pride
b. Pervasive Spirit
c. Judgementalism
There are some folks, for whom no one else seems quite good enough. This is self important eyes. You know what happens with people like this? Their circle of close friends keeps shrinking and shrinking because no one’s good enough for them, and then they wonder why they feel so alone! If you don’t want to share in that fate, don’t invite them into your inner circle.
2. A LYING TONGUE
a. A Truth Shader
b. A Fast Talker
c. An Angle Worker
When we are walking with someone who is “D – All of the Above” we can tend to allow that to be our normal also. And when we are walking with a person who is always covering it over, trying to make it less harsh, trying to put themselves in a good light, trying to work the angles for their benefit – that person is going to hurt us. Maybe their truth shading helps you because they’re constantly flattering you, and so you kind of like it. But sooner or later, you’ll be the victim of it and the pain will be intense.
3. HANDS THAT SHED INNOCENT BLOOD
a. A person who throws their weight around
b. A person who devalues others
c. A person with the shoot first, ask questions second mantality
Steer clear of all of the above!
PROVERB 22:24-25 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.
4. A HEART THAT DEVISES WICKED SCHEMES
a. Knows how to bypass the rules
b. Finds ways to take advantage of company’s expense account
c. Overlooks copyright laws
We all know people of low integrity. They’re always devising a way around the rules.
5. FEET THAT ARE QUICK TO RUSH INTO EVIL
a. Thoughtless
b. No common sense
c. No sense of what will come from their decisions
They are quick to run headlong into a shady or deceitful situation. Some people go running headlong into trouble and then they say innocently, “I didn’t know, I wasn’t aware, I wasn’t sure, I had no idea.”
6. A FALSE WITNESS WHO POURS OUT LIES
a. One who maliciously lies
b. A Gossip
c. Makes you feel special that they divulged these lies to you
We all love to be treated as so important that your friend would divulge their intimate nasty opinion of so and so with you, and ONLY you. It’s intoxicating. You’re so important, they told you! Next times that exhilaration hits you, ask yourself, how soon before the tables are turned on me?
PROVERBS 11:13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
7. MAN WHO STIRS UP DISSENSION AMONG BROTHERS
a. stirs the pot of conflict
b. nurses grudges
c. demands huge apologies but never gives them
Again, ALL OF THE ABOVE!
See friends, you don’t pick your family, (STORGE LOVE) and in a lot of ways people feel destiny or chemistry picked their Lovers (EROS LOVE). Only with PHILA do you exert free control of association.
APPLICATION: (Everyone will need a note card sized paper and pen for this.)
(As you are reading the list below to the group, have everyone write the words that are in bold)
Now that we know what not to look for in our PHILA RELATIONSHIPS, let’s see at what we should look for.
Here’s the opposite list of characteristics of a people in which we should intentionally foster PHILA LOVE with.
- instead of the proud, we should be looking for a humble heart, a teachable spirit
- instead of the liar, we should be looking for someone who will tell us the truth.
- instead of an angry person, we should invite the tender hearted
- instead of the rebellious we should invite the person of integrity
- instead of the devious we should invite the prudent
- instead of the loose lipped person, we should invite the person who treats our secrets with intense security
- instead of a divisive person, a person with a forgiving, reconciling spirit.
Now we may look at this list and wonder how to find true friends like this, but the first step here is actually to look at our own hearts and see how we can strive to be more of a friend like this.
Take a moment and write down an area in friendship that you would like GOD to help you with. Maybe it will be that you will find some one to walk with. Or that God will help develop an area in your heart to be a better friend to those already in your life.
For prayer this week, turn to the person to your left and commit to praying for them through this next week. Write that person’s name down on the back of your paper and make sure to put that in a safe place you will see it this week.
One last verse to take with you tonight…
PROVERBS 18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
God Bless and have a wonderful week!
